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THE UNDERGROUND: What is the secret of Steph's longevity on the job and her popularity among her co-workers?

TONI: I think it's her great personality. She is very helpful with customers and is very knowledgeable with both books and music.

THE UNDERGROUND: We understand that area supervisors sometimes fight over having Steph working in their department. Have actual fistfights broke out as yet?

TONI: No... no fistfights yet. But yes, we fight over her.... Personally, I love her working in the Used Books department - she gets a lot done during her shift. She's good in the Fiction department as well. Basically, she's great everywhere - she's a real work horse.

THE UNDERGROUND: We have noticed that Steph is one of the many very attractive females who have worked at your location for several years. How has this impacted sales?

TONI: I think it has greatly impacted sales. All of us just turn on the charm and we work it, baby!

THE UNDERGROUND: Fascinating. Has this phenomenon been fully documented - like perhaps with a comparitive study of your store versus Schuler's Books [a competing bookstore down the street]?

TONI: Why bother with a study? We win hands down.

THE UNDERGROUND: If there was a character from a popular book who effectively embodies Steph, who would it be and why?

TONI: Hmmmmm... I think it would be the lead character the Outlander series [by Diana Gabaldon]. The lady is very feisty and knows what she's doing - much like Steph.

THE UNDERGROUND: Okay - one last question before we let you get back to your lunch. What is the key combination to the employee breakroom and safe?

TONI: You're funny. No - really, you're not. Goodbye.

Summer Outdoor Projects

As nothing more than a delay tactic so that he wouldn't have to dig a new drain tile for the southeast corner of the house, Sloth tackled several outdoor projects this past summer. While the planters definitely have improved, this only means that he has a lot of work to do next year - perhaps we'll have to organize a digging team, eh?

Sloth's Outdoor Kitchen: This not-very-mobile unit allows Sloth to simultaneously store food preparation materials on the shelves, rock out to a tape deck or CD player, cut up or mix ingredients on the copious counter space, and cook with his trusty two-burner propane stove. Food scraps can be immediately sent to the compost bin, while recyclable materials head out to the garage. Then, when dinner is complete, dishes are washed in the two-basin sink and left out to dry. We'll never cook indoors over the summer again!

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Compost Bin & Stick Collection Unit: After spending half a day breaking down four years of sticks and rubbish out from behind the garage, Sloth made sure that he wouldn't allow yard waste pile up ever again. Using spare materials from the outdoor kitchen project, the original yard waste enclosure (buried under yard waste), and James' old dresser, we constructed a full compost bin, complete with hinged lids to keep out scavengers. Four posts and some spare wood resulted in a nifty stick collection stand, which allows for easy bundling for City pick-up - or to give to friends for tinder!

West Planters: After several years, it looked as if our planters were home to wild grasses, various ground cover, and weeds as much as the actual plants they were supposed to contain. In addition, we've learned what grows on the sunny west side of the house - and what doesn't. So we completely dug out the planters, saved what needed to be saved, and recycled the rest. The depressing thing? We only saved three selections of plants - the rest were either dying or weren't supposed to be there in the first place!

From Top to Bottom, Left to Right: A view of the cleaned and re-mulched west planters from the north-west corner of the home; Sloth's finished compost bin behind the garage; the stick collection bin (aleady with debris!); Sloth hard at play with his outdoor kitchen.

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Steph Hits the Hill Running!

Early August came in with a bang at the Ford residence in Grandville, where we celebrated Steph's 30th birthday. Sloth spent several weeks riding his bike with his cell phone, networking with the siblings, and doing whatever it took to secretly gather everyone to the same place at the same time. Steph of course suspected there was something afoot, but I don't believe she was quite prepared for the sheer volume of people she encountered at the party. Here's to many more decades of gatherings and frivolity!

James Accepted Into Accelerated "Zoo School"

In the Spring of this year, we were pleased to learn that James' fifth grade teacher was interested in making an official recommendation for the accelerated 6th grade curriculum at Zoo and Blanford Schools. These schools are small classrooms operated within the boundries of the John Ball Zoo and Blanford Nature Center. They are heavily tied to the activities of their hosting organization: that is, the study and understanding of local ecology and the environment are fully integrated with the standard curriculum. What with the week-long Spring camping trip at the end of the school year and the focus on woodland skills, it's almost like attending public school and immersing oneself in SpiralScouts all at the same time! In addition, advanced learning and study habits such as time management, juggling multiple projects, research papers, and oral presentations are learned. Perfect for our son, who has always been used to breezing through classwork at Mulick Park Elementary.

Considering the volume of papers and projects due before the holiday season, we were lucky to contact James through his agent to discuss the changes involved in this big educational stepping stone.

THE UNDERGROUND: So over the summer you attended an interest meeting for Zoo School, and then you actually began classes late in August. What were your first impressions?

JAMES: Well, the school is at the zoo - they told us that we would be around the animals, and that we would do different sorts of work in the classroom. Also, the teachers seemed like grandpas... the sort who teach you fun stuff. So it seemed like we would have plenty of fun stuff to do.

THE UNDERGROUND: What is your favorite thing at Zoo School? Your least favorite?

JAMES: My favorite thing is that we go on lots of field trips. We do land visits where we go to a property, talk with the property owner, and do a survey of the land. We do soil tests, write down things that may be problems, write down the type of trees and animals that are on the land, and things like that. My least favorite thing is probably all of the writing projects... reports and stuff. I like the hands-on work - the field trips, math, and science - a lot better.

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THE UNDERGROUND: What is the most interesting thing you've learned so far this year?

JAMES: I think geometry is the most interesting thing. I'm really good at it, and I like measuring the angles and figuring out stuff.

THE UNDERGROUND: What are looking forward to at Zoo School after the holidays?

JAMES: Spring camp.

THE UNDERGROUND: Because you get away from your parents for a whole week?

JAMES: Well... um... no, it's because it's at Camp Hayo-Went-Ha, which has really cool camping sites, canoeing, and things like that. We'll also be working out in the wild, building shelters and other outdoor activities.

THE UNDERGROUND: We understand that your teachers are not-very-well-disguised hippies that play acoustic guitar in the classroom and sing Simon & Garfunkel tunes. What's the deal with that?

JAMES: Well... I guess Mr. K [Dennis Kretschman] and Mr. H [Dave Humphrey] are different, being from a different generation... they like that older music. And it's true that Mr. K actually grew up in an environmentally-inclined family.

THE UNDERGROUND: A very well-guarded answer, young man. Well, we know that you had several projects to work on this evening, so we'll leave you with one final question. Do you feel that you belong in the Zoo?

JAMES: No. I am weird and stuff, but I'm not an animal! I am related to one, though - her name is Heather.

BOOK REVIEWS

Christopher Paolini Eldest

After finishing the first book of Mr. Paolini's Inheritance Trilogy, Eragon, I learned that the next book would not be released until August of 2005. This did not make me very happy: Eragon ended rather abruptly just after a major battle scene of epic proportions. The sequel, Eldest, picks right back up where things ended in Eragon, and immediately shakes things up with the apparent death of several of the major characters introduced in the first book. But Paolini doesn't stop there: we also learn that our hero is hopelessly crippled by a blow dealt to him by the evil Shade in book one. Can things possibly get worse?

The good news is that Paolini reveals these ill tidings at the very beginning of the book to make way for an extremely entertaining read. As with all classic three-part plays, Eldest serves as the link between the introduction and the inevitable denouement that is to come in book three. Here, Paolini takes the opportunity to not only continue to flesh out the world of Alagaësia, but also to play out separate plots with our hero's cousin and (to a lesser degree) the leader of the rebel group attempting to overthrow the evil King Galbatorix.

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As we delve into the cultures and belief systems of the dwarves and elves, we realize that the Inheritance Trilogy is not, in fact, a cheap imitation of J.R.R. Tolkien, Anne McCaffrey, or any other previous book series with dragons and other magical creatures. Paolini clearly has put an enormous amount of thought into his world, and our glimpses into this world keep the book moving forward, even while there is (relative to the first book) little real action occurring.

Our perseverence through the 670 pages is paid off in the end with the plot twist we knew must come, the convergence of the various sub-plots, and the reunion of most of the major players in the saga. And although there is once again the feeling of a lack of resolution, the table is now prepared and set for the final installment - even if it means a full re-read of the series once book three is released. Hats off to Mr. Paolini! Three and a half out of four stars.

Learn more about the young author and his work at www.alagaesia.com. Also read Sloth's review of Eragon, book one in the Inheritance Trilogy, in Newsletter 33.

J. K. Rowling Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

An enormous amount of time this past summer was dedicated to Sloth's passionate obsession over the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. This included revisiting the longest books in the series (The Goblet of Fire and The Order of the Phoenix), as well as making a loud and boisterous appearance as Sloth the Quiddich Master during The Half-Blood Prince release party at Barnes & Noble Booksellers. Sloth devoured the new book within 48 hours of its release, and then re-read it again to make sure he caught all of the important details. This was followed by extended conversations with others who had read and finished the book, many of whom were frightened by the feverish, maniacal gleam in Sloth's eyes as he doled out his various theories regarding the last several chapters. But no one will really know what Rowling has up her sleeve until the next and final installment - and more than likely, it will be a surprise that no one expected.

For those who have not yet read the newest Harry Potter novel, set your mind at ease - it is shorter than The Order of the Phoenix. It also signals a return to the more "standard" Harry Potter formula set into motion in the first three books: a bit of the summer prior to the school year, a "mystery" that Harry is struggling to solve while dealing with assignments and other schoolwork woes, and finally the resolution of the mystery at the end of the school year. However, with the final chapters of the novel, Rowling blows the doors wide open and gives us plenty to think about - and many, many unanswered questions.

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Book Reviews, continued from page six...

Aside from the rather disconcerting ending, the book is much more of a straight-forward read than The Order of the Phoenix. We learn a great deal about the past of Tom Riddle (alias Lord Voldemort) and several other characters, including Severus Snape. Rowling also deviates from her standard third-person limited narration from within the mind of Harry Potter to give us various other character perspectives - including, bizarrely enough, the British Prime Minister (who we meet on page one). And lastly, Rowling twists around her usual "now we know what really is going on" revelation at the end of the book to instead make us question assumptions we've had for years regarding several of the characters in the series.

The biggest question on my mind for the next (and final) book is: "how the heck is she going to resolve everything?" Rowling has made it fairly clear that after book seven she is finished with Harry Potter. Urban legend has it that when asked why this was the case, Rowling replied, "when you read the last book, you'll know why there can't be any more Harry Potter books." A bit ominous, no? With the amount of heavy material laid down in The Half-Blood Prince, she could easily write three or four more novels. I look forward to seeing whether or not Rowling will ultimately appease her die-hard fans... or instigate riots across the globe. Three and a half out of four stars.

Visit the author's wonderfully crafted website at www.jkrowling.com. Also read Sloth's review of The Order of the Phoenix in Newsletter 32.

NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

Joan Osborne How Sweet It Is - What ever happened to the chameleon-haired cutie who took MTV and radio by storm in 1995 with her hit single "One of Us"? The fact of the matter is: the single made and broke her career. If a fan of Joan Osborne somehow listened to her entire body of work prior to listening that cut, the question he or she would utter would be: "Is this the same artist?" the fact of the matter is, 1995's Relish featured several severely polished cuts custom-made for pop rock radio play. But Joan Osborne is so much more than that - she is gritty and sexy, with her musical stylings solidly grounded in classic R&B, soul, and funk. Proof is in her 2002 release How Sweet It Is, a cover album intended to be a response to the events of 9-11. The album opener, her warm and tender rendition of "I'll Be Around", is followed by soulful retoolings of everything from James Taylor to Jimi Hendrix to Sly & the Family Stone. Versions of songs such as James Taylor's "How Sweet It Is" and Edwin Starr's "War" are slower than the originals, eeking out every ounce of emotion that Joan can muster from the notes. This is not some has-been pop princess singing, here... this is a blues rock artist who studied vocalization with Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and performs with the likes of Isaac Hayes (on "Smiling Faces Sometimes"). And her album sends a strong message, culminating in the song title "Love's In Need of Love Today." There are little better phrases to describe the state of the world in this turbulent decade. Three out of four stars.

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Jamiroquai Dynomite - Jay K and the posse have returned for yet another love affair with psychadelic disco funk in the 2005 LP Dynomite. Jay delves even more deeply into electronica disco and further away from the funky 70's R&B sound forged on his first few albums - which isn't necessarily a bad thing, since Jay is so extremely good at crafting highly infectious dance tunes. However, for those who prefer choice cuts from days gone by such as "The Kids" and "Just Another Story", the opener on Dynamite is probably one of Jamiroquai's funkiest, most explicit songs thus far: "Feels Just Like It Would" delivers a dirty, heavily-affected bass line, perfectlymatching lustful lyrics tainted with Marvin Gaye eroticism. Fans of classic Jamiroquai also will enjoy "Talullah" and "Seven Days in Sunny June", which derive their influence from 70's-era Isley Brothers. On the flip side of the coin, "(Don't) Give Hate a Chance" and "Time Won't Wait" are unabashed ecstatic disco tunes, complete with strings and carefully orchestrated vocal arrangements. Jay's attempt at funk rock, "Black Devil Car", is a bit weaker and may set the album behind past releases such as Traveling Without Moving, but after ten years of consistently strong material and floor stompers such as "Electric Mistress" and the title cut itself, who is to argue as long as we're still dancing? Three out of four stars.

Original Broadway Cast Monty Python's Spamalot - Perhaps it's simple nostalgia, or perhaps it's to ensure that his great-great-grandchildren never need to pay for college. Whatever the reason may be, music maestro Eric Idle decided to write a full-length Broadway stage production based upon the classic 1974 film Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. This could have been a violently horrible blunder, but instead Mr. Idle somehow preserves the low-brow humor of the original film and unites it with a tremendous musical score backed by some of the brightest entertainers in the business. The juxtaposition of a lushly orchestrated score striding alongside massively irreverent content doesn't sound like a recipe for success, but succeed it does: Spamalot garnered a Tony Award for "Best Musical" in 2004 and booked $18 million in advance ticket sales. The soundtrack mixes the best moments of the production, including various nods to classic Python tunes ("Knights of the Round Table", "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life", and an allusion to "The Lumberjack Song"), as well as brilliant new songs from Idle and co-writer John Du Prez such as "You Won't Succeed On Broadway". The top-notch cast, including Tim Curry, David Hyde Pierce, and Hank Azaria, deliver the campy dialogue and ridiculous situational comedy with an abundance of pomp, while Sara Ramirez is stunning as she elegantly weaves through Idle's biting mockeries of broadway musicals, late-night jazz clubs, disco, and even football cheerleaders. If you have a sense of humor, you owe it to yourself to experience Spamalot - but remember, as the song goes, the last laugh is on you. Three out of four stars.

Jack Johnson In Between Dreams - Jack is a pro surfer who just happens to have the talent of being a poet and guitarist. He started playing the guitar when he was just 14. Some of his "quoted" influences include Bob Dylan, Ben Harper, The Beatles, Neil Young, Bob Marley, and Otis Redding. You can hear a bit of this in his music, but Jack makes every sound and word his very own. He grew up on the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii. With the sound of the ocean in his ears on a regular basis, it's easy to see where he gets his laid-back approach to music. His unique sound and lyrics make you want to chill out on the back deck with a tropical drink in hand or to just relax in the hammock. It is impossible to be in a bad mood when you listen to him - just listening to his music will cheer you up. In Between Dreams is his third full album. Who could resist a song that says “There’s no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard, no song I can sing... but I can try for your heart [and] our dreams; they are made out of real things...” There is nothing that makes his voice necessarily extraordinary, but it complements his style perfectly. In Between Dreams is a strong, sweet, and happy album to play on a rainy day. In these times, we all need something to make us smile - life is too short! Check out jackjohnsonmusic.com for more info. Four out of four stars.

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