Above: Heather gets her sillies out before her first day of kindergarten.

Heather Tackles Kindergarten

Heather Ford has moved up to the romping world of kindergarten this year. It's been a major transition for many of the kids at school: not only is kindergarten five days a week, but it's also a full day of school, rather than a morning or afternoon class. The Underground's ace reporter Sloth Silius caught up with Heather during Thanksgiving Break to get a glimpse into the frenetic 5 year-old mind.

SLOTH SILIUS: So you're in kindergarten this year, eh? Do you enjoy kindergarten? What's cool about being in kindergarten?

HEATHER: It's so cool in my classroom. There's toys and art stuff. There are blocks and two instruments. Our instrument teacher comes in and plays them: drums, flute, and guitars.

SLOTH SILIUS: A one man band! So what are some differences between last year's pre-school and being in kindergarten this year?

HEATHER: The classroom is different. Also, school is longer.

SLOTH SILIUS: What is your favorite thing in kindergarten?

HEATHER: I like to go to the computer station to play computer games on Mondays. There are all kinds of games.

SLOTH SILIUS: Such as what? What is your favorite game on the computer?

HEATHER: Decorate your own snowman!

SLOTH SILIUS: A suitable game for this time of year. And the least favorite thing about school?

HEATHER: I'm always late at lunch. The bell always rings before I'm done. It frustrates me!

SLOTH SILIUS: Who is your favorite person in class?

HEATHER: Omayra, because she's my most special friend.

SLOTH SILIUS: You have homework already, don't you? What has been your favorite homework so far?

HEATHER: The letter of the day exercise for "V" ... I like writing the letter "V".

SLOTH SILIUS: You're learning how to read this year, no? What sorts of things are you learning to read?

HEATHER: Princess Words in Fairy Princess Books! People don't know how to read Fairy Princess Books, so I teach them.

Continued on page three...

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Continued from page two...

SLOTH SILIUS: I think I meant in school. Are there any special words you've learned that you can spell for us?

HEATHER: I know how to spell L - O - V - E and my friend Kevin's name: K - E - A - O - N.

SLOTH SILIUS: You just spelled "love" and "Kevin". Does this mean that you are, in fact, in love with Kevin?

HEATHER: No! He's not my boyfriend. Darren [the 5 year-old next door] is my boyfriend.

SLOTH SILIUS: My, they do grow up quickly these days.

Sloth's Psychedelic Breakfast

Review by Web Phactory and Jason Robertson

This latest digital mix release by SlothWerks is a fascinating, intelligent mix of breakfast dialogue, snazzy tunes, and endless stereo reverb. By the end of the set you will find yourself in the fetal position muttering, "it tastes good and it feels good" or wondering, "what exactly is BHT, and should I be afraid of it?"

Above: Sloth's newest sound bite, an homage to the classic Pink Floyd tune "Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast", may be a little too strong for many to handle.

The breakfast theme emerges throughout the mix, highlighting the standard morning routines (such as cereal, coffee, and the morning news). The sound of the Psychedelic Breakfast flows from track to track, and the line between song and Sloth's world becomes fuzzy. The psychedelic stimuli peak by near the end of Part Two, and the focus shifts from psychedelica to audio sampling. The selected cuts contain catchy beats such as the finale "It's All True" from Tracey Thorn's newest album, Out of the Woods. At times there are moments that could be balanced better: too much ambience leaves your mind wandering, while too much music back-to-back leaves you feeling like it's iTunes on random. Fortunately, encore presentations of monotone narratives remind us that we are following Sloth through his morning routines.

This might take a few tries before you can really enjoy listening to the entire mix. I recommend listening to this with headphones to get the full experience of stereo sound (and to minimize outside distractions). Don't let the outside world force you to hit pause; to truly be engulfed into Sloth's world, the Psychedelic Breakfast should be listened to in one sitting.

Web Phactory's full review is available at http://music.webphactory.net/94/.

Anisa Williams calls it "a visual romp into audio bliss", which is not only the best description I could ever think of, but also one of the greatest compliments anyone could ever grant me. Check out the complete mix on our website, SlothWerks.Com.

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James Veenstra: Audio Engineer
Interview by Ace Reporter Sloth Silius

SLOTH SILIUS: This is Sloth Silius, and I am here at Peninsular Technologies with James Veenstra, who is now in 8th grade. Last year we talked to him about stepping into 7th grade at City Middle School, and we're here to see if he has any updates. So... what have you been doing since November 2006?

JAMES: I've been working out, pumping iron.

SLOTH SILIUS: It's too bad we don't have a visual on this, as I can see all of your muscles rippling beneath your hoodie right there.

JAMES: Yeeeeeah...

SLOTH SILIUS: So speaking of audio, there is a review in the newsletter for the Sloth Psychedelic Breakfast, and I understand you had a role in its production.

JAMES: Yeah, one morning my dad woke me up and we recorded the clanging and banging sounds. He also made me chew really loud on some cereal.

SLOTH SILIUS: So you were "talent". That's what we refer to as people who perform on audio and film.

JAMES: Yes.

SLOTH SILIUS: So was that interesting work? What did all of that entail?

JAMES: Well, first he took out his recording unit and we recorded the sounds. Basically we went around the house doing what people do in the morning: cooked some eggs and bacon, made some coffee, and did the dishes. Then he took that, loaded it onto the computer, and mixed up the recordings we made with music and other sounds. It's very strange but fun to listen to.

SLOTH SILIUS: As you say, the recording is very layered and it's hard to tell what is James and what is Sloth and what is the magic of post-production. So being the "talent" of the album, give us your best Psychedelic Breakfast chewing and lip smacking.

JAMES: But it's not breakfast time. And I have nothing to chew.

SLOTH SILIUS: Come on; what kind of "talent" are you? Perform, monkey!

JAMES: I have nothing to perform with.

SLOTH SILIUS: You could eat the mic.

JAMES: No.

Listen to the full interview on SlothWerks.Com. For the brave of heart, we have also extracted some of James' "talent" for your listening pleasure.

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Team N3kk1d prepares to roll on day one of the MS 150 Bike Tour in June.

2007 MS 150 Bike Tour a Smashing Success!

Not only was our not-for-profit cycling team larger and stronger than ever, but we also managed to raise more than THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS - a new record for Team N3kk1d! Overall, the two Michigan MS Bike Tours raised more than ONE MILLION for the Michigan Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. These monies will go directly into programs and research for Multiple Sclerosis. A HUGE thanks to everyone who donated and volunteered for this event!

For photos and to learn more about our bike team, visit our website at TeamN3kk1d.Com.

Steph Climbs the Barnes & Noble Ladder of Success Once More...

It wasn't long before Steph's star began to shine at her bookstore. After about a year and a half of reduced hours and working as a "jack-of-all-trades", Steph was chosen as the Children's Department Supervisor. Sloth and Steph have always been involved in childrens' activities, but now Steph gets to be in the thick of things: setting up fun events for kids, keeping track of the newest book releases, and creating merchandising displays. Needless to say, she's having a blast (and the extra cash in the paycheck doesn't hurt all that much either). If you're swinging through the Barnes & Noble Booksellers on 28th Street in Grand Rapids, be sure to pop in and say hello!

Wii would like to invite you into our rec room...

Along with apparently the entire world, Sloth has been swept up in Nintendo Wii mania. The new home gaming console, which features unique wireless controllers and games, was released in November of 2006. Sloth was sold on the system when he saw a demo of the newest installment in the "Legend of Zelda" series: the player was swinging the remote like a sword, and the character on the screen appeared to mimick the player's actions. Being a fan of Nintendo in general, the idea of getting up onto one's feet to play video games was a dream come true. So desperate was Sloth to own the system that he spent the extra cash to acquire one on eBay during the great rush of Wii system purchases at the beginning of 2007.

Thus far, Sloth and his family have most enjoyed the games that take full advantage of the controllers' physical motion detection capabilities. The Wii Sports package is still a winner; bowling and tennis are probably our favorites. Sloth recently purchased Super Mario Galaxy and loved it. Other fun "thinking" games such as Big Brain Academy have also graced the screen and utilize the controller's built-in speaker in interesting ways (like taking a drive-thru order by holding the remote to your ear like a phone). Finally, Nintendo has made video games FUN again for all ages! Thank you, Shigeru Miyamoto!

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A Special Interview With Matthew Mollhagen!

Not often does the Underground Newsletter delve into the mind, heart, and soul of the West Michigan work force, but here we are. Today we are joined by Matt, a real live insurance agent in Grand Rapids!

SLOTH: Give us a little introduction here, sir.

MATT: I'm Matt, and I've known the Sloth for about ten years since he worked at the old Barnes & Noble on 28th Street in Grand Rapids with my brother Adam. And now I sell insurance!

SLOTH: Now, I have fond memories of your brother as a young, long-haired bohemian sort of theatre guy who was very interested in music. How is it that his brother works in an office and routinely wears dress jackets?

MATT: Adam studied English and drama in college and I studied business. So I think it's quite logical that he'd be doing improv for a living and I'd be working in an office.

SLOTH: You could have just as easily gone into modeling.

MATT: [Laughing] No... we'll leave that to Adam.

SLOTH: So were you always interested in business and sales going back even into high school, or...?

MATT: Since I was a freshman in college, I guess. I had interned for several years.

SLOTH: Tell me how you went from studying business to the life insurance industry.

MATT: My parents had insurance with the companyI'm working with now and were very happy with them. In addition, my company has an excellent internship program, rated one of the top ten in the nation. I originally started with them to get something on my resume, and then I just stayed with them. I interned for four years.

SLOTH: What is the best and worst thing about selling life insurance?

MATT: The most positive thing is that I am benefiting my client more than I am benefiting myself. The downside I suppose is attempting to help people plan properly, but they don't want to do it because it's something they'd rather not think about.

SLOTH: Example?

MATT: Well, let's say I'm sitting down with a gentleman and his family to talk about life insurance. They apparently have enough money for everything else but life insurance. Yet this gentleman knows and I know that if something should happen to him, his wife and kids will be in a lot of trouble. But it's not worth a few bucks a month to fix that. It's something they don't want to think about, and I have to somehow convince them to start thinking about it. They have car insurance because it's required by law, and they might have health insurance because it's provided by their workplace, but life insurance isn't a requirement. But usually when people have done it they're glad they've done it.

SLOTH: Why should people go through your company to acquire life insurance rather than somebody else? What process do you use to help out someone who might need life insurance?

Continued on page seven...

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Continued from page six...

MATT: The process we use is one where we don't just come in and say "well, this is the insurance that someone of your age needs". It's more in-depth. We find out what's important to them, how long they need the insurance, and help them think things through. We don't just recommend one product for everybody. It's very tailored.

SLOTH: Well, perhaps we can drum up some business for you with this interview since the whole modeling thing isn't working out for you right now.

MATT: I appreciate that, thanks! We'll see what happens.

Are you ready for some peace of mind? Email Matt or give him a call at his workplace at (616) 633-8075. The audio content of this interview is also available on SlothWerks.Com.

Sloth Reviews Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling

British author J. K. Rowling answers many long-standing questions in this, the final installment of the Harry Potter series. It has been more than ten years since the release of book one; since that time, Harry Potter mania has swept the globe, culminating in 9 million copies of The Deathly Hallows sold in the first 24 hours of its release in the U.S. and Britain. Along with many other avid fans, I was reading it within one hour of its legal release time on July 21st.

Although the can of worms opened in just the last few chapters of book six (The Half-Blood Prince) was easily enough to allow for three or more sequels, The Deathly Hallows takes no time in immersing the reader immediately into the grim battle between the forces of evil Lord Voldemort and Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix. Rowling moves the plot along swiftly for the first several chapters, introducing us to new characters and also allowing favorites from past books to have their moment on the page. However, the majority of the story is dedicated to the quest presented to Harry and his friends Hermione and Ron at the end of book six: how to destroy Lord Voldemort once and for all.

One of the most surprising elements in this book is the direction of the path of discovery. While book six deals chiefly with learning of Lord Voldemort's past, book seven deals instead with Albus Dumbledore: a character we're all readily familiar with, but of whom we know astoundingly little. And to be victorious, our heroes must puzzle through the clues left behind by this powerful wizard.

After six books in the Harry Potter franchise, Rowling is at the top of her game. By the end of the book, she not only ties together the loose threads from the previous books, but also leads us through a new mystery: that of the Deathly Hallows. After all is said and done, we learn that love and compassion is a more powerful force than any mere spell... and more powerful than the Dark Lord himself. Four out of four stars.

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Above: Even with a little bit of gray in his hair, Morrissey still makes us swoon.

Morrissey... LIVE
Ann Arbor Michigan Theatre, May 14 2007

After years of spinning Morrissey and The Smiths on the radio, my good friend Jason invited me to see Mr. Suedehead himself live and in person in Ann Arbor. Alas, my recollection of Morrissey music (as well as the man himself) has been frozen since my heady college days in the early 90's. However, this did not detract from a gorgeous evening on the town in Ann Arbor, as well as a surprisingly long and aggressive performance by Morrissey and his talented (and identically-dressed!) backing band.

Morrissey was quick to mention to the energetic crowd that the show in Ann Arbor was the first date in the U.S. to sell out. His set list for the evening was peppered with favorites from The Smiths, as well as obscure B-sides for his die-hard fans in the audience. Meanwhile, the relatively young backing musicians ripped through the guitar and drum-heavy set, doing justice to the Smiths' "How Soon Is Now?" and the pulsating finale, "You're Gonna Need Someone on Your Side". Classic Morrissey sarcasm was woven throughout the evening, from the decals on the drum kit ("Art Suffer English Hatred") to mocking the stage jumpers ("Can we just stick to handshakes?"). Morrissey even took the time to teasingly strip off his shirt and throw it to the crowd - not once, but twice. Needless to say, he's not quite in the same shape as he was on the cover of Your Arsenal... but it's the thought that counts.

While I was unfamiliar with half of the twenty-two songs played, still I was pleased with the performance and thoroughly entertained. Surely, Morrissey isn't getting any younger... but every so often, in the midst of his mic-slinging swagger, I swore that it was 1990 all over again. Hang the DJ! Viva Steven Morrissey!

Special Music Review
The Icicles Arrivals & Departures

In the midst of a recent trend of depressed, screaming "alternative" acts, the plaintive simplicity of The Icicles comes as a breath of fresh air. Lead singer and rhythm guitarist Gretchen DeVault's songs are brief snapshots of feelings, thoughts, and moments framed by the tight musical accompaniment of Joleen Rumsey, Emily Krueger, Rebecca Rodriguez, and Greg Krupp. Between The Icicles' extensive use of the organ and their early-60's jingle jangle guitar style, one may easily discard the band as "retro"; however, the Icicles' sound owes itself just as much to 80's new wave as well as the early 90's British pop movement. Cuts such as "Regret", "Somewhere", and "Snappy" contain as much Beatles as they do the Go-Go's, the Sundays, or Lush, while the album openers "Crazy" and "La Ti Da" are fun-loving romps into yesteryear. Although the Icicles have evolved substantially since their 2001 EP debut on Drive-In Records, their musical arrangements continue to stay simple, clean, and straightforward, relying seldom on studio trickery. Perhaps this unabashed sugary sweetness is the reason for their popular live act and their inclusion in high-profile marketing campaigns from Target and Motorola. Rock on!

Learn more about The Icicles and get upcoming performance information at TheIcicles.Com.

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NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

Above: The talented and stunning Alicia Keys fails to capture Sloth's heart with her newest offering.

Alicia Keys As I Am - Keyboardist / vocalist powerhouse Alicia returns after a four year hiatus with a third studio album, again working with Kerry Brothers and MBK Productions. After the slickly-produced, eclectic, and virtually flawless Diary of Alicia Keys, it seems like Alicia is ready to tackle some different arrangements - often sparse and devoid of studio trickery. Unfortunately, one's reaction is more often "is that it?" rather than "wow, is that interesting!". To her credit, Alicia brings in live drums and acoustic instrumentation to some tracks (the soaring "Wreckless Love"), giving them a less "digital" feel. However, on others we hear what I suppose passes as "old school" drum machine and keyboards - but these sound less "old school" than completely out of place (such as on the ballad "No One"). To add insult to injury, Alicia's gorgeous and powerful voice sounds - dare I say it? - strained and perhaps even damaged on half of the tracks. The power that she throws into her delivery on "Sure Looks Good to Me" strikes as more of a cover-up than raw vocal prowess, and this simply doesn't make any sense - we're not listening to a wannabe American Idol, here... it's Alicia Keys! As I Am does contain some highlights: the empowering anthem "Superwoman" is sure to please the airwaves, and "Tell You Something (Nana's Reprise)" is probably one of the most touching songs Alicia has ever penned. A surprise appearance by John Mayer on the smooth "Lesson Learned" is also a welcome addition to the album. But overall, As I Am seems largely an unfinished work, the demo of an album we will probably never hear. And after this many years and especially after its predecessor, this is both unexpected and disappointing. Two out of four stars.

Nine Inch Nails Year Zero - After twenty years of being angry, the masters of art-noise have returned with a new opus of angst, this time focused on national and world affairs. Similar to The Pet Shop Boys' Fundamental, Trent Reznor and the boys have used recent political events as a launch pad for a disgruntled look at the religious right, social hypocrisy, the Iraq War, and more. New technology has allowed NIN to layer noise and mind-numbing industrial techno even more thickly than in previous albums, although Trent does throw some straight-forward songwriting at us as well (rocker "The Beginning of the End" and the eerie "In This Twilight"). Year Zero's scathing attack on current affairs becomes strained by the end of the album, but the later portion of Year Zero also offers some of its best moments: the instrumental "Another Version of the Truth", "In This Twilight", and the painfully frenzied "The Great Destroyer". All in all, it's good to hear NIN re-vitalized after the lackluster With Teeth; Trent's angry noise can sometimes run dangerously close to self-parody. Now, finally, NIN has something to be legitimately angry about: after all, it is very easy to think after watching the evening news that "this is the beginning of the end". Three out of four stars.

New Music continues on page ten...

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New Music, continued from page nine...

The Beatles LOVE - This "remix" album, produced and compiled by original Beatles producer George Martin and his son Giles, could easily be seen as yet another Beatles money-making collaboration, but it is actually the culmination of several projects. Vegas darlings Cirque Du Soleil had asked permission from the Beatles to use their music in a new show, and the Fab Four were adamant about using the original recordings for such a project rather than a live band (which Cirque normally utilizes). When the original recordings were accessed, however, it was obvious that the quality was not up to scratch for a full Dolby 5.1 surround sound production. Giles was then put to task to restoring the original tapes to digital format - a daunting task at best. When it came time to put together the show for Cirque, the troupe asked him to whip up a mix that was wholly original - something that went beyond the original recordings, and perhaps even farther than one would feel comfortable. After painstakingly poring over the tapes, Giles did just that - but first he had to get the thumbs-up from the remaining estate holders of the Beatles. As one might imagine, he was particularly concerned about Yoko Ono's reaction. He had little to worry about: Ringo, Paul, Yoko, and Olivia [Harrison] were overwhelmed and unanimously approved the mix. The result is 70 plus minutes of the best of the Beatles - not necessarily a "greatest hits" compilation, but a mix which highlights some of the greatest moments from each of the four members. From start to finish, song after memorable song flow into each other in a continuous mix of sound. Giles' ears picked out similar strains in several cuts and mixed them together into medleys which almost seem as if they were originally recorded the way they are presented here: Paul's "Drive My Car" weaves into "What You're Doin'"; the beautiful strains of "Blackbird" become the introduction to "Yesterday"; the pulsating, psychedelic "Tomorrow Never Knows" becomes the backdrop to Harrison's "Within You Without You". While some tracks are simply given a level re-treatment and enhancement ("Help!", "Revolution", "Come Together"), others are presented in an entirely new way: Harrison's classic "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" is transformed into an acoustic, lushly orchestrated gem; "Lady Madonna" is given a saxophone accompaniment, and the originally-recorded strings for "Eleanor Rigby" are given an overhaul. Some Beatles fans will take affront to this new presentation of classic material, but as George Martin himself said, "if you want the original recordings, listen to the records." In several cases, the new mix is superior to the original: not just sonically, but in balance and cadence. And the depth of production is such that one may listen to LOVE repeatedly and always hear something new... some new little element that Giles found from the catalogue and threw into the pot to simmer. Thanks to Mr. Martin for his hard work, and thanks to Cirque Du Soleil for being the catalyst for yet another essential recording from the "greatest rock 'n' roll band of all time". Four out of four stars.

Colbie Caillat Coco - With the music industry being over-saturated with the usual pop princess and whiny boy voices, it's always refreshing to come across a pretty voice that doesn't have any ambitions to be the next Whitney Houston. Colbie Caillat is just that: a girl, a guitar, a nice voice and a mellow, folky-pop sound. She reminds me very much of a female version of Jack Johnson. She comes from a musical background; her father is Ken Caillat who co-produced Fleetwood Mac's Rumours and Tusk. However, instead of sailing into stardom on the coat-tails of her father's connections, she began publishing her work independently on mySpace. Her plaintive, simple tunes caught on, making her the #1 unsigned artist on mySpace for four in a row. Labels started coming to her with offers and she decided to go with Universal Republic which gave her full creative rights. While Coco is not necessarily astounding or profound, it's great to listen to on a Sunday morning while drinking coffee and lounging in your P.J.'s. Three out of four stars. Review by Steph Ford.

New Music continues on page eleven...

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New Music, continued from page ten...

Joss Stone Introducing... - Joss' third release is very much the adult outing of this young and very talented vocalist and songwriter. Joss made the conscious decision to move from the classic R&B sound of the Betty Wright / ?uestlove produced Mind, Body, and Soul to the slick urban beats of Raphael Saadiq (D'Angelo, Jill Scott). Appearances from rapper Common, hip-hop diva Lauryn Hill, and Brit bad-boy Vinne Jones (who opens the album) solidify her move to the modern, as well as the occassionally risque lyric content. Joss knows she's a knockout, and while I personally have no problem with her sexy new delivery, it's a dramatic change from why we all fell in love with her in the first place: that young, raw talent who put a new spin on 60's / 70's soul. Her new offering is far too close to the generic female R&B produced daily here in the United States, and that's a real shame. Perhaps this is exactly where she wanted to go in the first place, but this move toward the center of popular radio is a step back, not forward. It will be deeply disappointing if Joss goes the way of Mariah Carey: remember, Mariah was initially marketed as an adult contemporary artist, not as urban R&B. As she gets older, perhaps Joss will learn that lesson she spoke of on her previous album: "less is more." You're not Christina Aguilera, Joss... why hit 100 notes when one will do? Two out of four stars.

Above: Is that Sloth in twenty years? No... it's Lindsey Buckingham from Fleetwood Mac!

Lindsey Buckingham Under the Skin - Lindsey's fourth solo recording (his first in fifteen years!) seems similar to his 1981 LP Law and Order: a side project of home recordings after the best tracks were given to the most recent Fleetwood Mac album. Truth be told, Lindsey had been working on "a new solo album" for ten years (as he alluded in the Fleetwood Mac live recording "The Dance" in 1997), and had invited Mick Fleetwood and John McVie to play drums and bass, respectively. This resulted in a strong, driving delivery to the recordings (versus Lindsey's usual "do-it-yourself" drum machine), but these cuts were used on the Fleetwood Mac album Say You Will. This left the quieter, more introspective tracks left for Under the Skin. While Lindsey is one of the most accomplished guitarists on the planet, his songwriting sometimes needs the input of his "other half" Stevie Nicks or the more mainstream Christine McVie to bring his sonic visions to palatable life. This is why the "classic" mid-70's Fleetwood Mac worked so well together. On Under the Skin, we certainly hear some incredible guitar playing, but Lindsey chooses to run his quiet vocals through unnecessary effects, and one can't quite shake the feeling that these cuts are more like short poems set to a backdrop of minimalist sound layers. When one compares virtually any of the fully-realized Lindsey-penned tracks on Mac's Say You Will to this album, the result is a bit of a let-down. On the other hand, it's possible that this quiet, home studio feel was exactly what Lindsey was going for: after all, he is a dad now, and the closing cut "Flying Down Juniper" is a touching sentiment to that fact. Perhaps for now we'll let him spend time with the family, but truly we're all selfishly waiting for the impossible: a new collaboration from Lindsey, Stevie, Mick, John, and Christine. Two out of four stars.

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