Above: Sloth appears rather placid as he waits his turn at his very first competitive sports event.

2008 Lansing Legislator Duathlon

Inspired by James' foray into competitive sports, Sloth strapped on running shoes for the first time this year and attempted the increasingly popular run / bike / run combo in August at Sleepy Hollow State Park (just north of Lansing, Michigan). A cyclist by nature, Sloth's mentality for running is very similar to that of riding a bike: "slow but steady". Sloth trained for endurance rather than for speed, and ultimately was able to match his training time for the 5 kilometers of running, 20 kilometers of cycling, and final 5 kilometer run. Sloth was happy with his ranking of 32nd out of 44 - especially since he was trying to shake a chest cold at the time! Photos and movies are available on our online gallery.

Walt Disney World!

The Sloth-Ford family's idea of a once-in-a-lifetime, relaxing vacation is apparently to visit Disney World in Orlando, Florida during one of the two busiest weeks of the year. To this end, we traveled to Florida with Sloth's parents and met up with Sloth's sister and her husband at Disney World, making the trip a true family experience. Our whirlwind foray included the Magic Kingdom and Epcot as well as the newer Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios. And while the total experience is somewhat of a blur, we were able to visit some of the most popular attractions. Let the pictures speak for themselves!

Above left: James displays his Mickey Mouse pride at Hollywood Studios' Brown Derby restaurant.
Above right: The Sloth-Ford family prepares for a fun-filled day at the Animal Kingdom.

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Above left: The famous Epcot "golf ball" containing Spaceship: Earth.
Above right: Heather and James meet their favorite characters at the Polynesian Resort.

Sloth Camera Upgrade!

Above: Our visit to Klackle Orchards as well as many other family outings are chronicled in our online gallery.

This past year, Sloth was presented with a new toy: a Canon digital camera, complete with full video capabilities. This has resulted in vastly improved photo-taking as well as short movies, all of which are available on the Sloth-Ford Family photo gallery...

[Unpublished Website; Email For Link]

Unfortunately, as we have recently discovered, "protection by obscurity" only works for so long. After many quiet, unpublished years, the gallery was successfully crawled by Google and many other search engines on the 'Net. This means that anyone across the world can access the gallery - which often contains photos of friends and family along with names and other information. I very much respect an individual's right to privacy, and so I have password protected the site - mostly to deter search site spiders. Once these sites attempt to re-spider the gallery and fail, they will hopefully delete the gallery from their cache of searchable websites. For the current login information, please email us or give us a call. Thanks for understanding; please bear with us as we protect your privacy.

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Heather Biddyball

Above: Heather seems a little giggly for her official Biddyball press photo.

During the beginning of the 2008 calendar year, Heather signed up for "Biddyball" practice at a local park gymnasium. There she learned the basics of basketball game play (such as dribbling, passing, and shooting) through the Grand Rapids Hoops basketball program. Ace reporter Sloth Silius caught up with Heather at a colorful cafe to get the full scoop on her involvement with the program.

SLOTH SILIUS: So, were you really good at basketball when you first went to Biddyball?

HEATHER: No. I was, like, this much good. [Holds her hands out about 10 inches apart] I was moving around all silly like this, thinking that I was doing dance moves while I was playing basketball! [Demonstrates dance / dibbling hybrid technique]

SLOTH SILIUS: Interesting. So what things did you do at Biddyball to get better at basketball?

HEATHER: We would start sitting "criss-cross-applesauce" in the center of the court, and then we'd go and get our basketball from the crate; then Coach Campbell would tell us "1 - 2 - 3 - GO" and we would dribble and run back and forth five times. Then we'd go and get water. After awhile we would play Biddyball by ourselves. Later we would have the orange cones and we'd have to start in the back and then we'd have to walk up and shoot the ball and then go back to the line.

SLOTH SILIUS: Who were the people who helped you at Biddyball?

HEATHER: Coach Campbell, and there were two girls, and Mister Bo.

SLOTH SILIUS: So at the end of the program, how good were you at basketball?

HEATHER: Really good.

SLOTH SILIUS: How good?

HEATHER: Gooder than James! OOOOOHHHHH!

SLOTH SILIUS: So I heard you had some sort of celebration at the end of the program?

HEATHER: A pizza party! I had friends sitting with me - two friends from school. We had a trophy for doing a good job. The music came on for the big kids, the song "I like to move it move it; I like to move it move it; you like to... MOVE IT!" [Begins dancing ecstatically]

Continued on page five...

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Continued from page four...

SLOTH SILIUS: Okay, you're making me dizzy. Now... what were your favorite things about the Biddyball program?

HEATHER: We would do things with our ball, like this... [pantomimes moving the ball around her legs on the ground]. I also liked getting the ball from the cage, and then Coach Campbell would say "go", and then we'd... [pantomimes running back and forth dribbling a ball]. I got good at dribbling.

SLOTH SILIUS: I also heard that you were perhaps going to start dance lessons. What do you like better - dancing or Biddyball?

HEATHER: Biddyball!

SLOTH SILIUS: So you're trying to tell me that you would rather play basketball than dance? Are you quite certain, princess?

HEATHER: [vehemently] Yes!

SLOTH SILIUS: I find that unlikely. We'll report on these findings in our next edition of The Underground!

Sloth Reviews Wii Fit

Several articles and news reports have been written on the use of the Nintendo Wii as therapy. Retirement homes across the nation have jumped on the bandwagon, empowering seniors with their very own living room bowling alley. Physical therapists have apparently also utilized the Wii Sports package for mobility recovery. But the Wii was never actually designed for that purpose... until the release of Wii Fit in May.

The focal point behind Wii Fit is the Wii Balance Board, which is essentially a hyper-sensitive weight scale. It measures pressure from all four corners of the board, thus allowing the user to fully interact with Wii Fit using not only their arms (with the Wii remote and nunchuk) but also their feet as well. Wii Fit is exactly what it sounds like: software designed for teaching its users about fitness and making them painfully aware of their bodies. To this end, Wii Fit concentrates on strength training, flexibility (yoga), and balance. Each user creates an account, and the software tracks his or her activity in Wii Fit, including weight gain or loss and how well the user is able to complete specific balance tests.

Now let's be honest, here: Wii Fit is not a replacement for an actual exercise regimen, cardio workout, or high-impact strength training. And yet, Wii Fit is insanely addictive for several reasons. First of all, the more you use Wii Fit, the more activities you unlock. The more often you use your account, the better you can see your fitness progress (or lack thereof, thus prompting you to work harder). And possibly most addicting of all, Wii Fit tracks how well all users perform on various activities, leading to self-competition (to increase one's score) and even friendly competition against friends and family.

Overall, Wii Fit is very well developed. The balance games bundled with the software are genuinely fun for all ages. The Wii Balance Board itself is fairly intuitive to use. Once again, Nintendo rocks its competition with quality entertainment that gets people off the couch and on their feet. Bravo!

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Above: It must be the combination of meditation, yoga, and good living that makes a man look this good after so many years.

The Police... LIVE
Van Andel Arena, May 11 2008

Every so often, people get just one more chance to see a musical ensemble that they thought they would never see perform again. Fans thrilled to the reunion of Pink Floyd for Live 8 back in 2005. In 2007, Led Zeppelin (with Jason Bonham filling in for his late father) rocked out in London. But at no time did I ever think that Sting, Andy Summers, and Stewart Copeland would attempt to tour together. While the three of them have been on good terms for many years now (Summers has used Sting as a vocalist on recent solo efforts), the three had moved so far away from their edgy experimental rock roots that it would seem nostalgic at best to re-form The Police. But... apparently the time had come.

On a gorgeous, temperate May evening, the three men who owned the airwaves 25 years ago descended into Grand Rapids with Elvis Costello and his newest team of musicians known as The Imposters. Costello warmed up the crowd with a loud, raucous set of high-energy quartet rock; I was especially impressed by the Imposters' keyboardist, who occasionally kicked his seat aside to better allow full body contact with his instrument. Costello stuck to the guitar for the evening, although he made a point to switch axes between almost every song. Older fans thrilled to his version of "Allison", which featured back-up vocals by Sting.

Once appropriately softened, The Police took to the stage with a quiet rendition of "Bring on the Night" with an unshaven Sting on acoustic guitar. But this unassuming opener was merely a teaser for the ensuing tour de force that followed. Sting swiftly donned his battered, war-torn bass and ripped through a long set of ditties which pulled equally from each album released by the trio long ago. Crowd pleasers such as "Message in a Bottle" and "Don't Stand so Close to Me" shared time with the more obscure "Demolition Man" and "Hole in My Life"; Sloth was especially pleased to hear a unique rendition of "So Lonely" which integrated "Reggatta De Blanc", as well as a medley of "Voices Inside My Head / When the World is Running Down". But the spell-binding moments of the evening, besides the fiery intensity of Andy Summers' guitar and the devastatingly flawless crash of Stewart Copeland's drumsticks, were the new takes on "Wrapped Around Your Finger" and "Every Breath You Take". For these numbers, a full cage of percussion instruments descended onto the unadorned stage including tuned cymbals, bells, kettle drums, xylophones, and a giant gong. Atop a simple pre-recorded keyboard pulse, Stewart Copeland played the main riff of "Wrapped Around Your Finger" on this arsenal of instruments, giving the song an other-worldly feel. As each member of the Police drew thunderous applause at the end of the evening, Sting looked out over the crowd and said, "we'll see you all again soon." Could it be that there are future plans for The Police, or have we stumbled upon yet another tired year-after-year performance of rehashed material? The latter is doubtful. Unlike many other "reunion tours" out there, these three fine musicians have nothing to prove: they instead have the world to entertain. Only time will tell what they have in store...

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A Day with My Dad... and Tom Rush
A Journal Excerpt by Steph Ford

My Dad has heavily influenced the kind of music I listen to. I grew up watching him prop up jackets to the albums of James Taylor, Van Morrison, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Boz Scaggs, Led Zeppelin, and Joni Mitchell, just to name a few, along with giving us a taste of The Temptations, Sam Cooke, Marvin Gaye, and Stevie Wonder. He is the one I went to when I wanted to talk about different bands and musicians. My Mom was the one who gave us kids an appreciation for musicals and wonderful cheesy ballads. So, I guess you could say we're well rounded in the music department. I've danced with him while standing on his feet to "Slow Dancer" by Boz Scaggs and watched him make my Mom cry and smile while he played "You Look Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton. Throughout my life, Dad has dedicated songs to people when he couldn't come up with the words he needed to say on his own. When I moved out of the house just before my 18th birthday he played two songs for me. One was Mary Chapin Carpenter's song "Only a Dream" and the other one was "The Child's Song" by Tom Rush.

In March of this year, Dad and I were able to take a little road trip down to Ann Arbor to see Tom Rush at The Ark. I felt like I was 10 years old again and I was extremely excited about not having to share him with anyone else for a day. Just being able to talk to him without anyone else around was FANTASTIC! What can I say; I am a "Daddy's Girl" and I took advantage of it. When we got to Ann Arbor we stopped at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods and then spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around Ann Arbor. We of course had to check out the used music and book stores and then grabbed some food and a beer at the Irish pub next to The Ark. The Ark (theark.org) is a venue that seats only 400 people. There IS NOT a bad seat in the house. The show started at 7:00pm. Tom Rush may not be a household name like James Taylor, but James counts him as one of his main influences. He also helped to gain recognition for Joni Mitchell and Jackson Browne. In true folk tradition, he is a wonderful performer and storyteller. The night of the show, I really didn't care what he played, as long as he played "The Child's Song". During intermission, we were able to not only meet him, but Dad had brought along a couple of his vinyl for him to sign. What a great memory to add to my list of keepers. The show continued on with Tom telling stories about his "bride" and how smitten he is. I sat back, sipped my root beer and listened to a man that I could now check off my list of performers to see in concert. You see, I'm on a mission to see many of the people I grew up listening to before they either keel over or simply call it quits. Then the song that I was waiting to hear was being played and I was 17 again and saying goodbye to my parents home. I was smiling and trying to wipe away tears at the same time, while calling myself a complete sap and glancing at my Dad. Needless to say, it was FANTASTIC! We walked out that night with smiles on our faces and into several inches of snowfall.

You have to just LOVE Michigan. The snow came down and we decided our lives were worth keeping. We got off of the expressway and called the significant others to let them know that we were going to keep ourselves alive by crashing at a hotel just out of Ann Arbor. The next day opened with sunshine and traffic moving freely, but Dad and I were glad that we crashed. All in all, I will put this memory in the archive of my mind as being a wonderful, sappy, happy, and awesome day with the man who I continuously put on a pedestal.

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NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

Four Star Rating System Explanation

1 ... I'm embarrassed I paid money for this album.
2 ... Some highlights to the disc, but I doubt I'll play the full-length album very often.
3 ... A solid release that requires several listens.
4 ... I play this album over and over!

The Verve Forth - Agnostics everywhere: proof of a higher power is here! After an amicable reconciliation, guitarist Nick McCabe and lead singer / songwriter Richard Ashcroft reunite to release what is probably the first true collaborative effort from The Verve since 1995's A Northern Soul. Forth brilliantly treads the line between The Verve's free-form experimentation of the past (in epic tracks such as "Columbo" and "Numbness") and the solid songcrafting from their later career ("Judas", "I See Houses", "Rather Be", "Valium Skies"). Yet Forth, true to its name, marches forward into new territory for The Verve as well. "Noise Epic" is a hard-edged sonic punch with plenty of studio experimentation; the distorted vocal loops in the fast-paced "Love is Noise" grab the listener by the neck and demand attention. Overall, however, the tone of Forth is best summed by its album cover art: blissful, serene, and wonderful... the emotions one would expect when coming face-to-face with hard evidence of God. Four out of four stars.

Daniel Lanois Here Is What Is - Daniel Lanois (producer of acts as varied as U2, Bob Dylan, Peter Gabriel, Willie Nelson, and many others) stunned us by releasing both a film and a record, hot on the heels of 2003's Shine and the quiet instrumental LP Belladonna in 2005. While some facets of the album are similar to Shine - the amazing Brian Blade on drums, Dan's steel pedal guitar lullabies, and experimental studio instrumentals - we also have some new departures, such as fascinating spoken word segueways from Brian Eno, stunning piano work from Garth Hudson, and a visit to Brian Blade's father's church for a gospel collaboration. As with his other albums, Here Is What Is requires several listens to completely process (the total playback time exceeds an hour), but it is a fulfilling journey - especially in consort with the accompanying film, which follows Dan through the studio and into territories verging on the psychedelic. Three out of four stars.

Dan Wilson Free Life - Dan Breaks out of his role as lead guitarist and vocalist of Semisonic to deliver an introspective, confessional album of love and heartbreak. But this is not the same Dan Wilson from Semisonic: this is a very personal Wilson, singing often in a ragged, yearning falsetto which is both painful and sweet at the same time. Famed producer Rick Rubin worked with Wilson and an impressive array of musicians (including Sheryl Crow) to create a reflective and mostly simplistic recording - essentially the way the songs were first conceived (at home). The result is a ballad-based album, some of which works very well (the album opener "All Kinds" is sure to be a crowd-singing pleaser in concert), and some of which falls somewhat flat ("Baby Doll"). All in all, this is a quiet opener to a solo career which is surely just beginning: the genius behind the libido-driven Semisonic has many years of music up his sleeve. And while I personally prefer his albums with Semisonic, who knows what Wilson's next project will bring? Two out of four stars.

New Music continues on page nine...

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New Music, continued from page eight...

Above: James Di Salvio's production touch results in a brilliant mash-up of hip-hop, dance, world beat, and good old fashioned rock 'n' roll.

Bran Van 3000 Rose - The third album from the Montreal-based partnership of James Di Salvio and Sara Johnston came somewhat as a surprise. It had been seven years since their last album Discosis was released, which featured collaborations with a wide range of artists such as Curtis Mayfield, Youssou N'Dour, Big Daddy Kane, and Ali Akbar Khan. As one may assume, Discosis was an extremely varied and (with Di Salvio at the helm) well-produced album, but Rose is Di Salvio's trump card. The album was worth the wait: Di Salvio's signature stream-of-consciousness editing and mixing is in full force, weaving sound effects, studio demos, and production tracks into a somehow cohesive whole that not only leaves one breathless with its complexity, but also yearning for more. Di Salvio and Johnston only make cameo appearances, preferring to control the direction of the production and allow a whole host of performers to take over for the majority of vocal duties (specifically Stephane Moraille, whose powerful pipes deliver a dance-floor wallop on "Stand Up"). Di Salvio's love of hip-hop continues to play a role as well, but this is not the same guy who paid homage to Snoop Dog on Bran Van's first album Glee in 1998; Di Salvio's rapping chops are light years ahead of those older recordings, with fast-paced breakbeats to match. Throw in touches of dancehall, reggae, old school R&B, punk, stoner rock, and everything else in-between and you have an idea of the scope of this album. Bran Van 3000 is indeed a hidden jewel in the jungle of contemporary music, but we pay the price: Rose is only available as a Canadian import. Are the extra couple bucks worth it? You bet they are. Four out of four stars.

Seal System - Seal's offering from November 2007 is a collaboration with Stuart Price, who worked on Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor. Price's heavily-processed beats were a refreshing change to Madonna's haphazard American Life, and I was initially excited about this new direction for Seal as well. However, System suffers from the same issue as Madonna's Confessions: dance beats cannot mask lack-luster songwriting. On some cuts (such as the sweeping, guitar-driven "Just Like Before") Seal shines, but on others (like the title track) I found myself asking the question "Haven't I heard this song before?" We have to give Seal credit for taking on social justice issues and consistently writing about making positive choices, but there are only so many ways to write such songs: after four studio releases, it's difficult to remain fresh. (In fact, I found myself wishing that "The Right Life" was an instrumental dance track.) Since System is a dance album, one may argue that the more simplistic song-writing was necessary simply due to the genre of music, but let's not forget that the debut album from Seal was also a dance album... and a far stronger (and varied) album than System. Seal has proven that, with appropriate direction (ie Trevor Horn), he is capable of remarkable song-writing ("Kiss From a Rose"), but his career since his first two albums has been somewhat hit-or-miss. Two out of four stars.

New Music continues on page ten...

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New Music, continued from page nine...

Above: Skye's silky voice, British accent, and disarmingly gorgeous smile make it virtually impossible to not fall in love with her.

Skye Edwards Mind How You Go - The gorgeous lead vocalist of Morcheeba departs her bandmates and proves that she is more than just a pretty face on her debut solo effort. Per her own admission, Skye was a little apprehensive about tackling songwriting for the first time (the Godfrey brothers were apparently rather dictatorial), but Mind How You Go is nevertheless a well-conceived and well-produced pop album, featuring collaborations with Patrick Leonard (Madonna) and Daniel Lanois. The radio-friendly single "Love Show" truly soars, and Skye's simple ballad "Jamaica Days" is a beautiful tale of ancestry. The album chiefly deals with the struggles of personal relationships; dabbles of electronica lace Skye's penwork as she muses over what is and what will come to pass. (Fans of Bjork's recent releases will especially enjoy "No Other".) Not bad for a gal who was essentially fired because her bandmates felt they had gone as far as they could go with her... and oddly enough, Morcheeba has not been able to hold down a lead vocalist for more than a single album. Perhaps this is justice telling us something? Three out of four stars.

Portishead Third - The dark and brooding trio from Bristol returns after a ten-year hiatus with their third studio album, appropriately entitled Third. As one would think, ten years can change a person, and on this album we are hearing a very different band. Some things are patentedly Portishead: Beth Gibbons' tortured songs of unrequited love, Barrow and Utley's obsession for cinematic moodiness, and an overall abundance of minor keys. But make no mistake: this album is extremely stripped down, extremely down-tempo, and extremely experimental. Barrow and Utley have made a conscious effort to move away from their earlier processed beats, samples, and turntable work - in fact, there is not a shred of turntable work on the entire album. Slick production has been traded for noisy analogue instrumentation, with plenty of fuzzy feedback and threadbare ensemble performances. The result is probably the darkest Portishead album ever, its sound reminiscent of "Humming" from their self-titled release in 1997. Unfortunately, while "Humming" is a dissonant gem found within a larger, more varied context, the entirety of Third is torturously slow and edgy, rendering a full listen of the album almost impossible to handle in one sitting. Granted, there are a few changes here and there, such as the relentlessly looping "Machine Gun", the ballad-like "Deep Water", and the submerged urgency of "The Rip". But make no mistake - this is a departure from all of their previous work... even several steps away from their original demo for the short film To Kill a Dead Man. Listen at your own risk. Two out of four stars.

New Music continues on page eleven...

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New Music, continued from page ten...

Above: "Alison, remind us all again how a old dog like me got so lucky?"

Robert Plant & Alison Krauss Raising Sand - Virtually any project orchestrated by T-Bone Burnett these days is a winner - he is, after all, the man responsible for producing high-profile acts such as Elvis Costello, the Wallflowers, the Counting Crows, and even the swan song HBO special for Roy Orbison just prior to the latter's death. More recently, Burnett has been tapped for work on films such as Walk the Line, O Brother, Where Art Thou? and Cold Mountain. His relationship with performers from the soundtracks to these films no doubt led him to this project: a dark and driven collaboration which is equal parts Burnett, Krauss, and Plant. Burnett forced both performers to work outside of their normal parameters: Plant confessed nervousness in even attempting to work with the gorgeous and insanely talented Krauss, whose voice soars like an angel and whose fiddle-work bleeds beauty and despair. For her part, Krauss risks entry into the gritty and oftentimes bleak reality of the classic American folk and blues traditions of Plant, submerging her usual ballad-based songcrafting into a darker musical landscape. These two opposing forces mix like sand and the sea; Burnett's sparse arrangements force this pairing to take center stage, and neither can flee from the other. Every so often we hear moments of "classic" Krauss and Plant - "Trampled Rose" features Krauss' flawless vocal prowess, while Plant prowls familiar territory in "Gone Gone Gone". But overall, this album is utterly unique: not fully blues, nor rockabilly, nor folk, nor bluegrass, yet containing facets of all of these. One must listen to this record to believe it. Three out of four stars.

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