The following is a list of our available positions within the Snow Weasel Society. Please read the brief descriptions and, if you are interested in a specific post, fill out our simple application for membership.
Although this may not seem like the best selection, we need Thugs more than anything else. Thugs are our favorite members: strong, silent, and completely loyal, because Thugs are too stupid to think any differently.
On occasion we require certain key members of enemy organizations to "disappear". We utilize Assassins when this disappearance takes on a more permanent need.
Obviously an organization bent on Global Takeover needs Evil Scientists to plot, plan, and build our more diabolical weaponry and vehicles. Our favorite creation so far is the Explosive AOL Free Trial Diskette.
Although our Thugs are not the brightest individuals in our organization, they are not necessarily expendable. Pawns are essential, since many of our more dangerous missions we require of our members are those that they will not return from.
How can we insure security without Guards? Wash the Snow Weasel's car on a semi-regular basis and perhaps you can achieve an even higher status, such as a Personal Guard.
Secret information from other enemy organizations has helped us out on our own diabolical plans. We even found out that there is beef fat in Pizza Hut pizza sauce. Kind of makes their "vegetarian pizza" (which uses the same sauce) kind of pointless.
Although we believe thoroughly in cooperative efforts and consolidation, we also believe that a little paranoia can go a long way. Do you find yourself influencing others through discreet displays of excessive force? If the answer is yes, you would do well to consider a position with our Secret Police.
We have the best-built, most thoroughly-tested advanced weaponry available. The reasons for its hardiness are the low-paid, well-insured weapons testers that inhabit our labs. You'd be amazed how many resumes we receive from Hollywood stunt actors. Not many go back to Hollywood, though.
Our Human Resources, Compensations, and Online Help Desk all require a trained staff to sit in front of a desk all day and shuffle paper and click mouse buttons. Be sure not to let the job get too mechanical, or you might wind up with a sudden case of lead poisoning... if you know what we mean.
The number of politicians and lobbyists who support our cause staggers the mind. What they are willing to do for a couple bucks is even more astounding.
These are the guys that dress up in the cool shiny white armor and fire big blasters that never seem to hit the stars of the movie unless the director wants to create tension or a romantic moment. What's life without a bit of romance and tension, right?
When the Snow Weasel makes his public appearances, obviously a Limo Driver is an imperative need. Prove your loyalty and perhaps we will make you the Head Hairdresser.
This hallowed title is only for our highest ranking officers. It takes guile, wit, and some strange physical imbalance or need, such as a funny eyepiece, white furry cat, or affinity to precious metals, to be an Extortionist.
We at the Snow Weasel Society are not so base as to STEAL to make money to support our evil ends. We are completely funded by Private Donations, Family Fortunes, High-Risk Stocks, and James Bonds.
We are very clean, neat, tidy people here at the Snow Weasel Cave. The last thing we need to do display to others messiness or disorganization. This job title is perhaps the most important of all. We'll even supply you with a mop.
Obviously every Society member needs a nifty business card to distribute to the masses. And what's a business card without a long, meaningless, impressive-sounding job title?
[ XHTML Test | CSS Test ]