[ Shadow Boy | Regional Director "J" | Technology Specialist "X" | Jeet-kun-do Boy | Inertia Boy | Charisma Boy | Invisible Boy | Goliath Boy | Arctic Avenger Girl | Shiva Girl | Apathy Boy | Star Girl | Casualty Girl | Neolithic Boy | Shotgun Boy ]
Name: Sloth?
Codename: Shadow Boy
Background: Shadow Boy, alias General Sloth, has always been one of the highest-ranking members of the Snow Weasel Society. He now is the team leader of Project: Au, hand-picked by the Snow Weasel himself... whether for the General's long-honed field experience or merely to get him as far away as possible from the Snow Weasel Cave, no one knows. Renowned for his prowess in battle and for his equally cutting humor and bad temper, Shadow Boy's body is small, wiry, and sleek, allowing for quick movement and instant reflexes. Unfortunately, his personality begs for constant attention, and his inflated ego gets in the way of any possibility of stealth or subtlety.
Super Abilities: Power Gauntlets, equipped with internal blasters and a computerized control system for Shadow Boy's armored costume, which has everything from an energy shield to rocket boosters.
Name: Joan
Codename: Regional Director "J"
Background: Regional Director "J" always seems to be a little out of place with the rest of the asylum cases in Project: Au. An attractive, blonde-haired woman in her mid-thirties, Joan's blue eyes are always sparkling with a hint of humor. Every morning she is in charge of warming up the computer system at Project: Au and the pot of coffee for the late-night recruits who need to report bright and bushy-tailed at oh-seven hundred. "J" is in constant communication with the other Regional Directors in the Snow Weasel Society and insures that Project: Au is on task with the other factions of the organization.
Super Abilities: An over-abundance of kindness and generosity, even to those who really, really, REALLY don't deserve it.
Name: Ryan
Codename: Technology Specialist "X"
Background: Technology Specialist "X" is the "Q" of Project: Au. "X" is under-budgeted, under-staffed, and under-appreciated, and makes up for it by taking liberties with what money is thrown at his department. He enjoys creating the strangest, most eccentric, and sometimes most useless technologies for the Au Project, such as the Toupee Razor Discus and the ever-infamous Peg Leg Rifle. Behind the rim-horned spectacles (incessantly slipping down his nose) is a keen and savage mind, ready to cause a little mayhem in the name of genius.
Super Abilities: Super-intelligence, like that of Doctor Doom meets the Mole Man meets the Rats of Nymnh.
Name: Aaron
Codename: Jeet-kun-do Boy
Background: A seventh level black belt in several forms of martial arts, Jeet-kun-do Boy is the principal sparring partner of Neo, alias Neolithic Boy. When he isn't making Street Fighter's Chun Li look like Homemaker Barbie, Jeet-kun-do enjoys reading, meditation, and pyramid schemes. He also works as a personal trainer to several Au Project recruits and takes a great deal of pleasure showing just how slow General Sloth is to block a good punch.
Super Abilities: A body like a living weapon, a mind like a steel trap, and a wallet like a sealed bank vault.
Name: Greg
Codename: Inertia Boy
Background: Inertia Boy studied for years in Tibet with the Buddhist monks-in-exile, learning the mysterious power of Nynn-Kon-Phoep. Ten years and one change of clothes later, his psychic prowess is only surpassed by the Pokemon Mewtwo. Don't let his "Renaissance Man meets Hippie" look fool you: he's all about the cash. Ten years of using the nearest rock formation as a toilet facility will do that to you, too.
Super Abilities: Inertia Boy can manipulate the existing momentum of objects, sending them in a totally opposite direction, increasing their speed dramatically, or even halting them in midair. You'd think he'd get to work on time every day, wouldn't you?
Name: Nick
Codename: Charisma Boy
Background: Charisma Boy is the man everyone wants living next door: young, toned, blue-eyed, and possessing a sense of sarcasm outmatched solely by the loudness of his button-up collared dress shirts. Studies are still underway to determine if Charisma Boy's amazing persuasive power is indeed a super ability, or merely a fluke in nature. Whatever it is, he certainly benefits from it: Charisma Boy has yet to purchase his own lunch for his shifts at the Au Project for months now.
Super Abilities: No matter how incredibly annoying or undeserving of the kindness and generosity bestowed upon him by Regional Director "J", Charisma Boy is IMPOSSIBLE to dislike... or get rid of.
Name: Brad
Codename: Invisible Boy
Background: Ironically, the theoretically "invisible" member of Project: Au is the tallest (surpassing seven feet) recruit, and a perfect match for Charisma Boy: their combined egos could most likely overpower the deadliest enemy. Unlike his buddy (and roommate), however, Invisible Boy's sarcasm and elevated "knowledge of self" are coupled with a thorough knowledge of computer networks, advanced technologies, and equipment. Often he is employed as mission pilot, away team captain, or communications technician when he is not busy making moves on the newest, youngest female recruits.
Super Abilities: Invisible Boy possesses the power to make him - get this - invisible to others. Alas, his personality more than makes up for this ability, and his inability to curb his tongue - and height - make him a better target than spy.
Name: Richard
Codename: Goliath Boy
Background: Goliath Boy is one of the earlier recruits to the Project, and with his experience he has gained a sense of humor that is cutting at best. Although a very capable leader, he finds it difficult to take anything seriously - unless someone makes remarks about his size. More than a few recruits, thinking themselves to be "funny", have in the past been chalked up as "missing" after what they probably thought was friendly banter with Goliath Boy.
Super Abilities: A former championship wrestler, Goliath Boy makes up for his dwarfish size by his ability to triple or even quadruple his height, transforming into a 12-16 foot monster capable of mass destruction - sometimes by merely stepping backwards.
Name: Tana
Codename: Arctic Avenger Girl
Background: One of the few females in the organization with staying power, Arctic Girl has been forced to hone her own brand of deadly sarcasm to counter that of Invisible, Goliath, or Charisma Boy. She is no lightweight, either: Arctic Girl is only out-weightbenched by Goliath Boy. Luckily for the "gentlemen" in Project: Au, Arctic Girl's cold cunning in battle is also matched by cool patience, mainly because she realizes that, like Penny for Inspector Gadget, it is most likely her talents that will dig the others out of the ruin their hubris brings them into.
Super Abilities: Arctic Girl possesses a massive array of weaponry, armor, and gadgets only rivaled by that of Shadow Boy (her complete opposite). Her weapon of choice is her deadly ice blaster, which can instantly freeze a target to a breaking point.
Name: Dawn
Codename: Shiva Girl
Background: Years of Eastern Philosophy and studies in India did nothing for Shiva Girl: she is still the flighty, fun-loving, and pheromone-projecting creature she was before leaving North America. Now, however, she uses her titillating talents for a more deadly purpose: her patented disco-dancing sends out psychic shockwaves that can stun even the most eager young prospect. Just think what would happen if her loose-fitting robes were replaced by a skin-tight go-go outfit!
Super Abilities: As mentioned above, Shiva Girl's "Dance of Destruction" can do enormous amounts of damage when the need arises, but dozens of male victims have testified that it is a combination of both pleasure and pain...
Name: Jerry
Codename: Apathy Boy
Background: By far and away, Apathy Boy is the most laid-back member of Project: Au. So completely is he encompassed by his mellow mood, in fact, that Apathy Boy couldn't care less whether or not a given mission is carried out completely or effectively. At one point early in his career, Apathy Boy was captured by the enemy and tortured for information, but the only words that escaped his lips were "I really would like some coffee." Later, upon debriefing with his fellow teammates, he admitted that the only reason he didn't squeal was because he "simply wasn't inclined."
Super Abilities: Apathy Boy can be a cold-blooded killer, capable of en masse slaughter without blinking an eye. However, getting him to a point where he is willing to lift a finger to help the team can be a chore, and quite often he is used as a human shield. Luckily, he doesn't mind at all.
Name: Ashby
Codename: Star Girl
Background: Star Girl was previously a Broadway singer before joining the Project; however, her career was cut short by her latent power to project focused photons from her body (see "Super Abilities"). Citing Marvel Comics' "Dazzler" as an inspiration, Star Girl soon was fighting crime and causing quite a sensation in the city of Akron, Ohio. However, after the Akron-based band Devo collapsed and the 70's were dead and gone, she (thankfully) put away her silver spray-painted platform rollerskate boots and turned to less show-stealing music performances (ie olde English ballads).
Super Abilities: Star Girl and her best buddy Shiva Girl are a nasty combo: Shiva's shockwaves can be coupled with Star Girl's powerful laser blasts, which she prefers to project from her fingertips. Now if only we could stop them from playing that blasted old school techno house music...
Name: Marie
Codename: Casualty Girl
Background: Casualty Girl is a strange addition to the crew at Project: Au, and her lack of speed with either drawing a pistol or playing a card during a Euchre game make her by far the most expendable team member in a given mission. Luckily, everyone likes her too much to really get rid of her, and her super ability makes up for her multiple horrifying deaths she has been forced to endure during her tenure with the Project.
Super Abilities: The fact that Marie constantly wears an undecorated red uniform (see: Star Trek Series One) makes the irony of her untimely demise in every episode series even worse. Luckily, like a cat with lives to spare, she always shows up the next day for work ready for more.
Name: Jeff
Codename: Neolithic Boy
Background: Straight out of the silver screen, Neolithic Boy (alias: "Neo") is a technologically-gifted, good-looking man with deep brown eyes and dark hair that any woman would die for. And die she most likely would, for Neo's habit of taking on the most dangerous (and impossible) missions would soon spell the end for anyone... except for maybe a deserving leather-clad, rail-thin Goth chick.
Super Abilities: There may be "no spoon", but apparently reality is something else that has very little bearing on Neolithic Boy, who can instantly transport himself from anywhere to anywhere else within a certain radius of space.
Name: Carlos
Codename: Shotgun Boy
Background: Before joining the Au Project, Shotgun Boy was a trained killer in the elitist terrorist group "The Triad of Destruction". Fate (and sudden unemployment) found him in the hands of General Sloth and his ragtag group of operatives. Luckily there were enough good-looking babes at the base to calm the kid down to a point where he could be talked to rationally.
Super Abilities: Obviously there are enough gun-toting terrorists out there to start a war (literally), but Shotgun Boy also possesses finely-honed reflexes and a keen mind, making him a dangerous package in battle.
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